If my spouse commits adultery, can I biblically get a divorce? Yes you can. Would you recommend I get a divorce? No I would not.
And there’s the tension.
It is true that the Savior did not bind a person to his/her covenant if their spouse has been unfaithful to the covenant. If a person chooses to divorce their spouse because their spouse was unfaithful, they do have grounds for a divorce and there are not any further biblical prohibitions on such a person. The greater evangelical community has always agreed on this very clear teaching from Matthew 19.
Does this mean you should divorce your spouse? Of course not.
Matthew 19 gives us a few verses on adultery and divorce that are tucked away in a larger volume called the Bible. And the point of this larger volume, from Genesis to Revelation, is reconciliation. The Bible tells the story of Jesus Christ, who came to earth to save sinners. I am one of those sinners who God came to reconcile to himself. If you’re reading this blog post, then you may be one of those guilty people whom God came to rescue from your sin.
The worst sin you or I ever committed or could ever commit was forgiven by God. Not only did God forgive you and me of the greatest sin ever committed, but he gave up the most valued treasure that belonged to him in order to reconcile you and me to him. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son. (See John 3:16)
No pain or cruelty ever perpetrated on anyone comes remotely close to what you and I have done against our Creator God. I am in no way minimizing the sin of adultery and the intolerable pain that comes from this sin, for I have personally lived through this. But I am putting it in perspective.
If God has forgiven me (salvation), can’t I forgive those who have sinned against me? (Eph. 4:32) This is the essence of the Gospel. If we can’t grasp this most basic truth, then we don’t understand the Gospel. I would appeal to anyone who has been sinned against, particularly the sin of adultery, to seek to forgive and reconcile with the one who has sinned against you. This is the Gospel.
Caveat
I am aware that some who have been sinned against, as in my case, may have a partner who is unwilling to repent and reconcile. My goal in this post is not to bind your conscience and create more anguish than what you have already experienced. But I would appeal to you, if you have been sinned against this way, to pray that God would change the heart of your fellow sinner, so that he/she would repent and you two could reconcile.
Shout-Out
I would like to give a shout-out to all the couples I’ve worked with this past year who have experienced an adulterous marriage and are fighting to restore the marriage. You guys are an incredible witness to the empowering grace of God, not just for the person who was deeply sinned against, but also the guilty who is willing to walk in humility and repentance. You all are an encouragement to me; a testimony of God’s ability and a shining example of the Gospel. Thank you!!
Another incredible story of God’s powerful, empowering grace: My brother was murdered 12-years ago.
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