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Adopting a Child for the Glory of God!

Adopting a Child for the Glory of God!

This note is from my friends Drew & Kamarie Miles, who will be adopting a third child, Nikolai, in early summer.

God has led us to adopt a little boy named Nikolai. Nikolai lives in an orphanage in the Ukraine. He has Down Syndrome, and like most children with Down Syndrome in Eastern Europe, he would spend most of his life in a mental institution, unless a family rescued him.

Drew and I learned of Nikolai through an adoption ministry called Reece’s Rainbow, who help children all over the world with Down Syndrome find their forever family. We both knew instantly that he was our son. Though it is difficult to explain, we had this feeling in our hearts that one of our sons was “missing.”

We immediately contacted Reece’s Rainbow and committed to do WHATEVER it takes to bring Nikolai home. The day after we sent our commitment papers, we received this email from the director of Reece’s Rainbow.

I just wanted to let you know….you just saved Nikolai from the institution. They were days from transferring him. Our facilitator called and they said they will hold him.

Nikolai was to be transferred to a mental institute had we not stepped out in faith and done what we knew God wanted us to do. We can’t begin to describe all the ways we have seen God’s hand at work. Nikolai is being held at the orphanage for our family, but we were told we need to move quickly. Within two weeks we completed all of our home study paperwork, were fingerprinted, had background checks done, medical exams, passports, etc….

We could be bringing Nikolai home in June! Reece’s Rainbow told us to expect our total adoption costs to be about $25,000. That seems like a lot and, as you might imagine, we have had a few brief moments of “panic” thinking about coming up with that kind of money in 3 to 4 months time. Drew and I have been able to put together about $7,000 and we have some friends helping us with some fundraisers for Nikolai.

We know that God is going to provide the other $18,000 we need by June. As a friend reminded me yesterday, that’s just 450 people giving $40. Please pray for our family as we go through this process. At times it feels like we are on an emotional rollercoaster.

  1. Pray for Nikolai to be kept safe until we are united with him.
  2. Pray that we would continue to be sensitive to God’s leading, even in the small things.
  3. Pray for the financial needs to be met to bring Nikolai home.

Grace and Peace,
Drew, Kamarie, Lane, Hudson & Nikolai Miles!

If you would like to sponsor Nikolai’s adoption you can make a tax deductible donation click Reece’s Rainbow: International Down Syndrome Orphan Ministry.

Please click the Facebook link to share this article with all your Facebook friends. Ask the world of Facebook to pray for Nikolai!

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Posted in Adoption, Kamarie MilesComments (1)

Confession of a Former Cigarette Smoker

Confession of a Former Cigarette Smoker

This testimony is from my friend Rose (real name), who attended a small group I led a few years ago. She asked me, at one point during our small group, what I thought about her cigarette smoking. I told her that it was not what was between her fingers that was the problem, but what was in her heart. At that moment God graciously did something in her heart. Over the next few months God changed Rose.

This is her story in her own words…

I did NOT want to quit smoking, I REALLY liked to smoke and felt that my smoking wouldn’t change my lifespan since God already knows the day we will be born and the day we will die. I did not think he was up there deducting time off my life for each cigarette I smoked. I DID believe that my quality of life could be improved if I quit smoking, but that wasn’t the selling point for me.

What made me ask Rick about quitting was that he kept saying that the gospel was the answer to everything and I just couldn’t figure out how Jesus dying for my sins and defeating death was an answer to someone trying to give up an addiction/idol.

Therefore, I asked him to explain this to me and he did. I do not have his exact words or sketches that he drew for me, but I will tell you the things that struck a chord with me and those things that I have realized since I decided to TRUST Christ with one of the little things in my life. Also, the most important thing for me to remember is that I didn’t quit smoking, I just decided to live in faith and God did the rest.

Let me start with the gospel:

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that who so ever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” If I truly believe that, then I should have a response to that daily and that would be my faith expressing itself in my life. Then I have to think of my faith and what that looks like in my life. I go to church, read the Bible, pray, attend care group, fellowship with believers, and on and on and on…

This is all me doing things and living in my little Christian box, but where am I growing? I am growing in knowledge and truth, but where are the evidences of my faith being manifested in my life? I would have to say that if we REALLY are to grow in faith, we need to step out of our boxes, that is where we see the evidence of faith, grace, mercy, and the Holy Spirit dwelling in us and being manifested in our lives.

Remember that God always goes before us and sometimes he takes us places outside our daily boxes, because He loves us. This may be the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, moving to a new state, a troubled teen, facing the fact that we have an idol, etc… As far as idols go, it may be that doctor telling you that your sugar is high, the feeling of being run down all the time, a cough that won’t go away, or just the fact that you have to spend money on new clothes, but your old clothes are perfectly fine, they just don’t fit anymore.

This is the place that puts feet on our stagnant faith (the routine/the box) as God places us outside our neat little boxes and asks us? “Am I still God when you are out here? Do I still love you when you’re out here? Do you still trust in me and the gospel when you’re out here?” At this point we have to preach the gospel to ourselves and trust in him again, even though it isn’t in our control, and keep walking towards the cross and following him as he goes before us. Each time He takes us outside our box and we trust in Him fully, our box gets bigger (our faith increases) and our praises should grow and our testimony for Him will grow. All the glory belongs to Him!!!

Now, realizing that I had been growing in knowledge and truth for many years by receiving the gospel made me realize that God was equipping me for this growing/stepping out of the box and I was immediately amazed by His kindness. At that point, I had not even decided to give it to Christ, but I had to examine my motives for giving it to Him. I would have to REALLY physically, emotionally, and spiritually trust Him daily and walk VERY closely with Him. I would have to put all my weight on Him. Our trust in Him has to be exactly that, our trust in HIM!

Crying Like an Infant and Talking with God

For me, especially the giving it over to Him was the hardest part as I sat on my knees, face on the ground in my bathroom for over two hours crying like an infant and talking with God. My conversation was kind of like this:

I know that you are who you say you are and because of that, I know I can trust you. I know you will take this from me and I won’t have to worry about it, but I have to be the one to give it to you and this is the part that I am struggling with the most. I have to choose between trusting in you or trusting in my idol. To trust in you means I must relinquish my idol to you today by trusting in you and then, I have to choose to trust in you daily to sustain me

As you can see, as I was having this conversation with God, it became apparent that by giving God this idol, I was “through Him” living out the gospel. Therefore, the gospel is the answer to everything. POINT MADE!!!!

Lastly, once I put the burden of my idol on Him (all the weight on him) my burden of trusting Him daily was light. BAM!! There you go, the gospel once again!!

Since that first day, I have realized that Christ freed me from a false god. What was I thinking??? I would get stressed, bored, anxious, etc. and go bow to my idol (smoke a cigarette) and then feel okay as if something was accomplished. No, the only true life sustaining accomplishment is what was accomplished for me on the cross!

I hope this helps you! I will pray for His accomplishment through you!!

Thank you for asking me about this, it has helped me to take another look at my box and ask myself if my box is growing or stagnant?

Read My Other Cigarette Stories

  1. Cigarettes & Jesus
  2. You Can Smoke Everywhere

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Posted in Addiction, Rose MercadoComments (2)

Free Audio Books from Piper & Bonhoeffer

Free Audio Books from Piper & Bonhoeffer

From Our Friends at Christianaudio

This month is a special free offer, something we’ve never done before! Yes, TWO FREE audiobooks, all in preparation for the Easter celebration of the cross and resurrection.

“When Christ calls a man, he bids him to come and die.” This sentence from The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer is the beginning of his teachings on what it means to truly follow Christ. He also speaks to cheap grace in that it’s the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance; baptism without church discipline; communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.

His short life was full of obedience and radical testimony to God’s calling on his life, even up to the day he was martyred in a German prison camp on April 9, 1945. The book focuses much on the Sermon on the Mount with its call to discipleship, and on the grace of God and the sacrifice it demands. A true Christian classic!

Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die by John Piper gives 50 purposes for the death of Jesus. Why did Jesus come to die, and how do those reasons and purposes challenge us in our thinking of God and right relationship with Him?

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The Missing Element in Bible Studies, 4.0

The Missing Element in Bible Studies, 4.0

Wisdom is Knowledge Applied

Knowledge alone can lead to arrogance, which is one of the fruits of self-righteousness. The Pharisees were the classic example of religious people in the NT who had a lot of Bible knowledge, but did not know how to apply it in a Gospel-centered way. This is my temptation as well. In some ways I can be a modern day Pharisee in that it is easier for me to learn about confession of sin, for example, than to actually confess my sin against my wife, to my wife.

There have been seasons in my life where I was ever learning, but seemingly never able to come into a practical awareness and application of the truth I was learning. This was due to a lack of practical wisdom. Several years ago one of my professors simply defined wisdom for me. He said that wisdom is knowledge applied.

  1. Knowledge without application leads to arrogance and relational dysfunction.
  2. Application based on an inaccurate knowledge leads foolishness and relational dysfunction.
  3. Both elements, knowledge and application, lead to steady growth toward Christ-likeness.

We Need an App for That

Application, Application, Application - If we do not spend a lot of time applying God’s Word, in addition to studying God’s Word, then our lives will tilt sideways. Therefore, Lucia and I study a lot, but we also seek to apply what we are studying throughout the day, in nearly every context of our family, whether it is when we watch TVeat our meals, run errands, get ready for bed, or participate in any daily activity of our family.

Smart Counselees are the Norm

Furthermore, it is rare for me to teach a counselee new information about the Bible. Typically, Bible knowledge is not the problem with most of the people I meet. Their real problem is an inability to apply God’s Word in real, specific, and practical ways to their lives. The application of God’s Word is what I strive to do personally and what I emphasize for others vocationally.

I am not throwing Bible study under the bus because I do have a high view of the Word of God and the study of the Word of God. But I do believe the church needs to rethink the plethora of programs they offer to their people in light of the practical dysfunction that generally goes on in most churches. Here are two possibilities:

  1. Teach the church (members) how to make the most out of the best Bible study of the entire week: the Sunday sermon, by teaching them how to make personal application to their lives and families. This could be accomplished through small groups that are designed to apply the Sunday sermon to their everyday lives. In too many cases the pastor’s sermon is marginalized and, at times, replaced by the weekly Bible study, or it gets lost in all the programs of the church. If he is God’s man for your church, then his message from the pulpit should be the central and main message that the local church seeks to apply to their lives. Therefore, a wise pastor and wise church will seek to make the most out of his message. (Please read the best Bible study of the entire week to gain a better grasp of what I am saying here.)
  2. Have “life application classes” that teach the body how to apply the bible. What I do throughout the week is “life application classes.” People come to me for one specific reason: to help them apply the Bible to their lives. It is odd to me that I can make a living doing what I do. The only reason I can make a living doing what I do is because our local churches cannot do or do not know how to help their people connect the Bible to their everyday lives. Some churches do provide care very well for their people, but in too many cases, the local church does not have a good plan for soul care. A lack of real, specific, and practical Gospel-centered application is the missing element with these churches.

Other Related Posts

  1. Too Many Bible Studies, Pastor. Too Many Bible Studies, 1.0
  2. Too Many Bible Studies: Here’s What We Do, 2.0
  3. The Best Bible Study Ever, 3.0
  4. The Missing Element in Bible Studies, 4.0

Other Posts in our “Too Much” Series

  1. Too Much Church, Daddy. Too Much Church
  2. Too Many Bible Studies, Pastor. Too Many Bible Studies, 1.0
  3. Too Much Skin, Girl. Too Much Skin 1.0
  4. Too Much Production, Worship Leader. Too Much Production

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Posted in Bible StudyComments (0)

The Best Weekly Bible Study Ever, 3.0

The Best Weekly Bible Study Ever, 3.0

My pastor spends over 20-hours each week studying God’s Word in order to serve up an incredible sermon each Sunday morning. He has been trained to do the work of sermon crafting. He is an exegete of God’s Word. He has a gift for communicating God’s Word in ways that we can understand.

And, above all else, he is growing in his understanding and application of the Gospel, the most important part of any message, because it is the main point of the Bible. A portion of his Bible sermon prep is praying to God for help regarding the meaning of the text he plans to preach as well as insight on how to apply the passage to the people he brings care to throughout the week.

These are some of the reasons that make this time on Sunday morning the best Bible study of the entire week. Additionally, my pastor has been doing this for over two decades. I have never heard of a Bible study leader spending this much time and effort in the preparation of a Bible study.

Though every Christian teacher has a responsibility to teach accurately and clearly (James 3:1), none are held to the standard of a pastor (Hebrews 13:17).

God has given him the responsibility to bring guidance and care to our church and the Father will also hold our pastor accountable for how he brings care to our local church. (See Hebrews 13:17) What he does on a week to week basis is serious business. I think if the Lord of the universe was going to hold me accountable for how I cared for a group of people, like he does my pastor, then I would take it very seriously. And, in fact, he does.

This is why Lucia and I have such a high view of the Sunday sermon. We believe that our pastor has his thumb on the pulse of the church and he knows what we need. He is our shepherd and we are his sheep. If he is speaking, we want to be carefully listening to what God has directed him to say to us.

Therefore, we clear the deck so to speak, in order to make plans to be at the church meeting, and afterwards to make personal and practical application of the sermon to our lives. You can read more about how we have traditionally applied the Sunday meeting to our lives by clicking on Preparing for Game Day.

We put a lot of time in not only preparing for the Sunday sermon, but afterwards, applying the Sunday sermon to our lives throughout our week. I want to listen to the shepherd, take copious notes, talk to my bride about the sermon, listen to it again via itunes, and make very specific and practical application to our family. All this work related to the sermon preached each Sunday is one reason we don’t attend a church that preaches a sermon three times per week. I’m not that smart to process that much information. It is also why we do not commit to other Bible studies, though we have sat in on Bible studies from time to time. (I do podcast five other churches each week and listen to each of their sermons, but not with the intensity and purpose that I listen to the one at our local church.)

Other Related Posts

  1. Too Many Bible Studies, Pastor. Too Many Bible Studies, 1.0
  2. Too Many Bible Studies: Here’s What We Do, 2.0
  3. The Best Bible Study Ever, 3.0
  4. The Missing Element in Bible Studies, 4.0

Other Posts in our “Too Much” Series

  1. Too Much Church, Daddy. Too Much Church
  2. Too Many Bible Studies, Pastor. Too Many Bible Studies, 1.0
  3. Too Much Skin, Girl. Too Much Skin 1.0
  4. Too Much Production, Worship Leader. Too Much Production

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    Posted in Bible Study, Church Life, PreachingComments (1)

    Too Many Bible Studies: Here’s What We Do – 2.0

    Too Many Bible Studies: Here’s What We Do – 2.0

    Lucia and I have never been part of an on-going Bible study at any church we have belonged to. As I stated in the last article, we are not “throwing the baby out with the bath water” nor am I saying a person is necessarily making a mistake if they belong to a Bible study. That is not the point of these posts.

    The point of these posts is to gently challenge God’s church to think with discernment about why we do what we do. There are many things that waft through the church and, at times, God’s people embrace them as the “next best thing” or the “traditional thing” without careful discernment regarding the practicality, necessity, or the long-term effect of implementing such things.

    One of the things that has been most encouraging about your comments has been the lack of argumentation. You have been kind in your comments and humbly willing to consider my point. That is very refreshing. One of the questions from you has been, “What do you do as far as Bible studies? And why do you do it?”

    While I am willing to share with you what we do, I am not saying this is “the” way you should do it. Neither am I saying it is the only way to approach Bible study. It is merely our way, which we believe honors God and helps us to grow more like the Savior.

    Though we do not have any special insight into these matters, I am appealing to you to carefully and humbly think through why you do what you do and if there are areas in your habits that need to change, then by all means, make those adjustments. If you need help making those changes, please talk to your pastor and appeal to him for help.

    Why Bible Studies Do Not Work For Us

    When I use the term Bible studies in the context of these articles, I’m meaning organized Bible studies provided by the local church. I’m not saying we don’t study our Bible. We most assuredly do. I love God’s Word and have dedicated my life to pursuing Him through His Word. I would never make light of or marginalize the reading, studying, memorizing, and applying of God’s Word.

    I write one article every day of my life about my study of and reflection on God’s Word. There are hundreds of articles on this website that reflect my study and application of God’s Word to my life. These articles are not primarily for you. They are for me, my wife and kids. This is the primary reason why I study and write. The public nature of my writings is what I have chosen to do to share with you my pursuit of the Bible, within the context of my family.

    You are getting a peek into my study of the Bible within our home

    As you have probably discerned, due to the amount of studying, thinking, writing, and applying that I do, I don’t have time to participate in other Bible studies. The massive amount of time we spend pursuing the Bible and the application of the Bible, within our home, prohibits us from participating in external Bible studies. Lucia and I are too screwed up and need too much sanctification help to spend our time in other Bible studies.

    Bible studies for us represent a twofold proposition.

    1. It is the study of God’s Word
    2. It is the application of God’s Word

    There is no better place on this earth for me to spend applying God’s Word than in the context of my marriage, with the aid of my wife. No one knows me better than Lucia does and no one can serve me better than Lucia can. She is the best and primary person I want to study the Bible with, because she is the biggest asset I have for growing in grace. And that works both ways. She feels the same.

    What joy we have to be able to walk one another through specific and personal sin issues. Once we repent, we have the additional joy to immediately apply, in the context of our home, what God has taught us. Our children also receive the benefit of our Bible studies and have the joyful privilege of making similar, personal applications of God’s Word to their lives.

    An external Bible study cannot come close to offering us what we currently have.

    Other Related Posts

    1. Too Many Bible Studies, Pastor. Too Many Bible Studies, 1.0
    2. Too Many Bible Studies: Here’s What We Do, 2.0
    3. The Best Bible Study Ever, 3.0
    4. The Missing Element in Bible Studies, 4.0

    Other Posts in our “Too Much” Series

    1. Too Much Church, Daddy. Too Much Church
    2. Too Many Bible Studies, Pastor. Too Many Bible Studies, 1.0
    3. Too Much Skin, Girl. Too Much Skin 1.0
    4. Too Much Production, Worship Leader. Too Much Production

    Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel

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    Free Counseling Advice via Weekly eBlast
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    Posted in Bible StudyComments (1)

    Theology of the Abused: A Case Study

    Theology of the Abused: A Case Study

    Janet was first sexually abused by a relative when she was 9-years old. The abuse continued, off and on, for almost three years. She never told anyone about the abuse until her 30th birthday, when she revealed to her husband what had happened. It took all the courage she could muster to tell her husband the truth.

    Over the years she had convinced herself that there was something wrong with her. This was the only way she could reconcile in her mind why anyone would abuse her. As a kid, she assumed that all authority figures were right. It was easier for her to think there was something wrong with her than to think there was something was wrong with the primary authority figures in her life, even if one of those authority figures was sexually abusing her.

    As Paul Tripp said, “No one responds to the facts, but to their interpretation of the facts.” Janet interpreted the facts through the lens of an adolescent mind and she came to the wrong conclusion. Sadly, no one knew about the abuse or her interpretations and personal application of the abuse.

    She has spent her entire life trying to prove to anyone who would listen that she was better than what she believed herself to be. After 20 years of disappointing and exhausting relationships she gave up and told her husband what was wrong with her.

    Application Questions

    1. Janet believes she is a bad person because of what happened to her and she has spent her life trying to prove she is not a bad person. How will you tell her that she is far worse than she thinks? How will you present to her that she is not a bad person because of what happened to her, but she is a bad person because of what she did to Christ?
    2. Janet has an “identity crisis.” Describe her current identity and what her identity should be.
    3. Though Janet is wrong in her thinking and will need to repent, she is so insecure, that a call to repentance would do more damage than help her at this time. Describe how you would provide care for her, in order to restore her to Christ?

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    Posted in AbuseComments (0)

    Pro Choice Lobby is Upset Mrs. Tebow Made a Choice

    Pro Choice Lobby is Upset Mrs. Tebow Made a Choice

    From Sally Jenkins at The Washington Post

    I’m pro-choice, and Tebow clearly is not. But based on what I’ve heard in the past week, I’ll take his side against the group-think, elitism and condescension of the “National Organization of Fewer and Fewer Women All The Time.” For one thing, Tebow seems smarter than they do.

    Tebow’s 30-second ad hasn’t even run yet, but it already has provoked “The National Organization for Women Who Only Think Like Us” to reveal something important about themselves: They aren’t actually “pro-choice” so much as they are pro-abortion. Pam Tebow has a genuine pro-choice story to tell. She got pregnant in 1987, post-Roe v. Wade, and while on a Christian mission in the Philippines, she contracted a tropical ailment. Doctors advised her the pregnancy could be dangerous, but she exercised her freedom of choice and now, 20-some years later, the outcome of that choice is her beauteous Heisman Trophy winner son, a chaste, proselytizing evangelical.

    Pam Tebow and her son feel good enough about that choice to want to tell people about it. Only, NOW says they shouldn’t be allowed to. Apparently NOW feels this commercial is an inappropriate message for America to see for 30 seconds, but women in bikinis selling beer is the right one. I would like to meet the genius at NOW who made that decision. On second thought, no, I wouldn’t.

    Here’s what we do need a lot more of: Tebows. Collegians who are selfless enough to choose not to spend summers poolside, but travel to impoverished countries to dispense medical care to children, as Tebow has every summer of his career. Athletes who believe in something other than themselves, and are willing to put their backbone where their mouth is. Celebrities who are self-possessed and self-controlled enough to use their wattage to advertise commitment over decadence.

    You know what we really need more of? Famous guys who aren’t embarrassed to practice sexual restraint, and to say it out loud. If we had more of those, women might have fewer abortions. See, the best way to deal with unwanted pregnancy is to not get the sperm in the egg and the egg implanted to begin with, and that is an issue for men, too — and they should step up to that.

    “Are you saving yourself for marriage?” Tebow was asked last summer during an SEC media day.

    “Yes, I am,” he replied.

    Read the Entire Article Here

    Read Abortion: Truth or Consequences

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    Posted in Abortion, SportsComments (1)

    To be angry is to be a puppet on a string, 1.0

    To be angry is to be a puppet on a string, 1.0

    For the past eight days we have been having trouble with our Internet service. It has been a frustrating week as our service has been going in and out. Just before midnight, the other night, I finished the final edits to the next day’s post. As soon as I hit the “update” button the Internet went out and most all of the data was lost. It was not saved and I had no way of retrieving it.

    I was very angry at my Internet provider!

    Whenever you get angry with someone or something you are, in effect, giving that person or thing control over you. Your volitional choice to get angry allows the person or thing to control your thoughts, emotions, attitudes and behavior. In that moment of anger, you believe that person or thing has something you want and you become demanding until you get your craving satisfied.

    The other night my Internet provider, though they did not know it, controlled me. They had something I had to have and anger was my way of showing how much they “owned me.” Not until I repented of my sin did they lose their control over me.

    Therefore, an angry person is typically an insecure or fearful person. He is a person who says, “I need something from you and because I cannot get what I want, I will be angry with you.” Anger is a sinful response to get a craving met.

    Anger is an insecure person’s manipulative method or tactic to get what he wants. – RLT

    A Real Need

    A person dying of thirst will do most anything, i.e. fight, in order to get a splattering of water to quench his thirst. At that moment in his life, the desire for water controls him. He feels insecure (fearful), and rightly so in this illustration, because he will die eventually without water. Therefore, he chooses to fight in order to quench that need.

    A Sinful Need

    When an infant does not get her way, she may choose anger as a tactic to get what she wants. She feels she “needs” something as well. This craving to get something turns to anger as a tactic to acquire the perceived need. Anger is a typical response for people who do not get their way. The infant’s desire to have the toy (she believes she “needs” it) is so great that she will succumb to the “power of another” (the power of the toy in this illustration) in order to get that desire quenched.

    When we express anger toward another person, we are giving up our power or our strength, to the control of that person, until we get that perceived need met. This should be a motivating reason not to get angry with anyone. We should refuse to let whatever it is the other person has to dominate our thinking and emotions. The angry person is an idolator.

    Self-control is the biblical response for a person who is tempted to give their control over to another. The way you walk in Spirit-empowered self-contorl is by repenting of whatever it is that you are craving.

    Application Questions

    1. What is it that you want so bad that you are willing to sin in order to get it?
    2. What is it that you are not getting, that you are willing to sin in order to get it?

    Other Related Articles

    Read these articles on the Fallacy of Mutual Need Meeting

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    Posted in AngerComments (0)

    Adultery: A Ticket to Ride?

    Adultery: A Ticket to Ride?

    If my spouse commits adultery, can I biblically get a divorce? Yes you can. Would you recommend I get a divorce? No I would not.

    And there’s the tension.

    It is true that the Savior did not bind a person to his/her covenant if their spouse has been unfaithful to the covenant. If a person chooses to divorce their spouse because their spouse was unfaithful, they do have grounds for a divorce and there are not any further biblical prohibitions on such a person. The greater evangelical community has always agreed on this very clear teaching from Matthew 19.

    Does this mean you should divorce your spouse? Of course not.

    Matthew 19 gives us a few verses on adultery and divorce that are tucked away in a larger volume called the Bible. And the point of this larger volume, from Genesis to Revelation, is reconciliation. The Bible tells the story of Jesus Christ, who came to earth to save sinners. I am one of those sinners who God came to reconcile to himself. If you’re reading this blog post, then you may be one of those guilty people whom God came to rescue from your sin.

    The worst sin you or I ever committed or could ever commit was forgiven by God. Not only did God forgive you and me of the greatest sin ever committed, but he gave up the most valued treasure that belonged to him in order to reconcile you and me to him. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son. (See John 3:16)

    No pain or cruelty ever perpetrated on anyone comes remotely close to what you and I have done against our Creator God. I am in no way minimizing the sin of adultery and the intolerable pain that comes from this sin, for I have personally lived through this. But I am putting it in perspective.

    If God has forgiven me (salvation), can’t I forgive those who have sinned against me? (Eph. 4:32) This is the essence of the Gospel. If we can’t grasp this most basic truth, then we don’t understand the Gospel. I would appeal to anyone who has been sinned against, particularly the sin of adultery, to seek to forgive and reconcile with the one who has sinned against you. This is the Gospel.

    Caveat

    I am aware that some who have been sinned against, as in my case, may have a partner who is unwilling to repent and reconcile. My goal in this post is not to bind your conscience and create more anguish than what you have already experienced. But I would appeal to you, if you have been sinned against this way, to pray that God would change the heart of your fellow sinner, so that he/she would repent and you two could reconcile.

    Shout-Out

    I would like to give a shout-out to all the couples I’ve worked with this past year who have experienced an adulterous marriage and are fighting to restore the marriage. You guys are an incredible witness to the empowering grace of God, not just for the person who was deeply sinned against, but also the guilty who is willing to walk in humility and repentance. You all are an encouragement to me; a testimony of God’s ability and a shining example of the Gospel. Thank you!!

    Another incredible story of God’s powerful, empowering grace: My brother was murdered 12-years ago.

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