Answer “yes” or “no” to these questions to see whether or not God has called you to be a counselor:

Yes or No Questions

1. Are you a Christian?
2. Do you love God?
3. Do you love others?
4. Do you love God’s Word?
5. Do you love to see others changed by God’s Word?

If you answered “yes” to all of the questions above, you are a counselor. If you prefer the word “discipler,” that is fine. I actually prefer that word as well. Another term is biblical friendship. However, if you answered “no” to any of the questions above, please email me to set-up an appointment.

Counseling is not the biblical norm, but discipleship is and every Christian is called to care for one another in some form of discipleship context. Each Christian can and should participate in the care of others, according to their gifting.  We should not be asking whether or not we are counselors as much as …

1. How can I be a friend to my brother or sister?
2. How can I care for my brother or sister?
3. What role can I play in the care of others?
4. What do I need to do in order to be better equipped as a discipler for Christ?

The essence of the gospel is going from one place to another in order to help a people in need. See Philippians 2:5-8. This is what every Christian should be doing.

Here are some helpful verses for you. Place your cursor over the verse to read them in the pop-up boxes:

1. Romans 15:14
2. Matthew 22:36-40
3. Matthew 28:19-20
4. Romans 14:19
5. 1 Corinthians 12:25
6. Ephesians 4:25
7. Ephesians 4: 32
8. Colossians 3:13
9. Colossians 3:16
10. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
11. Hebrews 10:24-25
12. James 5:16
13. 1 Peter 4:9
14. 1 Peter 4:10

Other related articles:

• Case Study: Counselees and the Local Church
• Case Study: Are You NANC Certified?
• Should I Be NANC Certified?
• To Certify or Not to Certify: That is the Question for Counselors
• Counseling Solutions Training Program to Equip Counselors
• Desire and Burden Do Not Make a Biblical Counselor
• Inherent Liabilities with Biblical Counseling
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Pt. 1
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Pt. 2
• Can’t the Local Church Do This?
• Two Ways to Become a Better Counselor
• My Top Choices for Counselor Training
• Do I Need a License to Be a Christian Counselor

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Mailbag: Rick, love the blog. Okay, here’s my question: I would really like to be a Christian counselor. How should I go about it?

Once per week, I get this question, or a variation of this question. This particular question is vague in that they are not asking about training for counseling, methods of counseling or contexts for counseling. They are simply asking how to go about becoming a counselor. Here are a few thoughts:

You Are Already a Counselor

Every Christian is a counselor. This is not an optional vocation for the believer. You may be more comfortable with the word discipler. That is fine. Whatever you want to call it, you are always doing two things: (1) Modeling and (2) Teaching. This is what Christians do.

Modeling

The life you live before God and man communicates your worldview, values and Christian belief system. If I hug my wife, tell her I love her, sweep the floor, take out the trash or if I choose not to do any of these things and decide that being a couch potato is more to my liking, I am modeling something to her and the kids.

You can never escape the reality that our life is a book that is known and read by others. What we choose to do or not to do is instructional to our audience. Our behavior is a form of counseling. Counseling should not be something you aspire to do someday in the future. It is what you are doing today.

Teaching

Every time you open your mouth, you are teaching someone something. If you withhold words, you are also teaching. When I am harsh toward my kids, I am teaching them. When I am giving my wife the silent treatment, I am teaching her. Modeling and teaching work hand-in-hand in the Christian community to bring counsel to those we love as well as to those who do not know the Savior.

Principle: Your modeling should always precede your teaching. If you do not model what you teach, then your teaching will be trumped by your lack of modeling. Your lifestyle will negate all your bible-speak or, as has been said by others, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

Read my post, Ever Considered Modeling for a Career?

Advanced Counseling

If you want to take your counseling to the next level, beyond everyday Christian living, then I recommend you begin that process today. There are two common mistakes that aspiring Christian counselors make:

1. They don’t realize that, in reality, they are counseling others today, by both the life they lead and the words they say.
2. They think they should wait until someday in the future before they start counseling Christians in a more formal way.

Bob is working on his M. Div. at a local university. Afterwards he plans on getting a MA in Christian Counseling. Once he gets all his prerequisite training, he will then begin the steps toward counseling others.

Begin Multi-Tasking NOW!!

It takes many years to build a reputation in any field, to where people are seeking you out to learn from you. It doesn’t matter what your profession is, you are not automatically granted a hearing just because you have some training. As it pertains to Christian counseling, I would not recommend a person postpone building their reputation as a Christian counselor.

Begin building your reputation while you are completing your training. Since all Christians counsel, do not withhold God’s truth until you get your ducks in a row. Tell people about the Savior today, according to your present understanding of the Word of God. If you desire to help people practically apply the truth of God’s Word in their lives, do not withhold that information until a future time when you think you are better prepared.

Pursue your training and pursue people at the same time. This will also make you a better student and counselor. Most people do not have the opportunity to apply on the job what they are currently learning. Most college students receive their education and then seek employment. You can simultaneously be doing the work of a Christian counselor while learning how to be a Christian counselor.

Where do I start?

It has never been easier to communicate to the masses as it is today. Here are three quick and easy ways to get started with minimal investment in time and money:

• Start a blog
• Begin Twittering
• Use Facebook

These three Social Media recommendations have tremendous redemptive value and all three are free. It astounds me that I can communicate the truth of God’s Word to virtually any human on the planet. In seconds you can be communicating throughout your hometown as well as around the world through Social Media. Christians should have the biggest vision and greatest passion for this kind of communication, because we have the best message this world has ever known.

We have the message and the means to communicate to the masses like never before. -R. Thomas

The motive behind the printing press was theological. Our motive behind Social Media should be the same. You want to be a counselor? Start counseling. Let’s see where God takes you.

More Related Articles on the Ins & Outs of Becoming a Christian Counselor

• Case Study: Counselees and the Local Church
• Case Study: Are You NANC Certified?
• Should I Be NANC Certified?
• To Certify or Not to Certify: That is the Question for Counselors
• Counseling Solutions Training Program to Equip Counselors
• Desire and Burden Do Not Make a Biblical Counselor
• Inherent Liabilities with Biblical Counseling
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Pt. 1
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Pt. 2
• Can’t the Local Church Do This?
• Two Ways to Become a Better Counselor
• My Top Choices for Counselor Training
• Do I Need a License to Be a Christian Counselor

Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel

Free Counseling Advice via Twitter

Free Counseling Advice via Weekly eBlast

Checkout Counseling Solution’s Membership Training Site

From Eric Johnson at the Society of Christian Psychology

Yet, a survey of integration literature forces one to conclude that the considerable contributions of biblical counseling have been overall largely ignored in the broader Christian counseling community. On the contrary, when biblical counseling hasbeen noted, the focus is almost invariably on its critical approach to modern psychology or its weaknesses. Every movement has weaknesses; we have to do better than that. We need to learn from biblical counseling some of the most important features of a Christian counseling model worthy of the name.

Read entire article HERE

About Dr. Johnson

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Do you consider yourself better than the person you are discipling?
As a teacher are you tempted to think you are superior to your student?

Here’s a tip for success in counseling, training, teaching or coaching

The person who believes he is a servant of all will be in a better place to accomplish his/her goals for the people he/she desires to teach.

Jesus said in Mark 10:45 that he did not come here to be served, but to serve. He came with the attitude of a servant. “But I’m not Jesus!” That is true. You are not.

You are a sinner. I am a sinner. And the temptation for us sinners is to consider ourselves better than those we serve. Jesus never had this temptation. The temptation I’m speaking of is self-righteousness.

Here is another tip that might help you: ALL counseling is “speck fishing.” When counseling someone you are fishing for specks regarding their problems, rather than logs.

Remember what Jesus said in another place?

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

Or how can you say to your brother, Let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye?

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:3-5 (ESV)

When you are counseling someone, who do you think has the “log” in their eye and who has the “speck”?

This is a very important question when working with anyone. If you do not consider yourself the biggest sinner in the conversation, then you are beginning at the wrong place as it pertains to the process of change.

Read these complementary articles on this subject

• Anger’s Solution
• Exposed By the Cross
• What Am I Missing When I Get Angry
• If I Told You I Didn’t Sin How Would You Feel
• The Blessing of Being the Biggest Sinner in the Room

Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel

Free Counseling Advice via Twitter

Free Counseling Advice via Weekly eBlast

Checkout Counseling Solution’s Membership Training Site

A common concern that comes up in counselor training is the “ability to relate” question. Usually it’s communicated something like this:

How can you help me when you have not been through what I am going through?

I think there is a desire within all of us to have someone understand our story and relate to us in some way. I think God has wired us to relate. Relating is part of imaging God: we’re made for relationship and part of relationship is fellowship, understanding and commonality.  

And God understands us. He knows our makeup. He pities us. He sympathizes with us. And the most profound example of understanding us is the Gospel. The Father knew our condition so well that he sent his only Son to fix what was broken.

And after regeneration he continues his relational activity. He gets in our story and we feel his affection and care for us. We feel known, understood, loved and helped.

I get it and I like it: He walks with me, He talks with me and He cares for me.

However, there is another side of this thought too. It is not necessarily a requirement that someone know my story and understand my story the way God does. It is not as important for me to have been there, done that, as it is that God is sovereignly involved in my life.

Additionally, once we get beyond our diverse stories and work down to the causal core of who we all really are, then we realize there is a striking similarity: for all have sinned.

• We get angry
• We have fear
• We are impatient
• We forget to be kind
• We aren’t always grateful
• We talk about others behind their backs
• We do regrettable things

You get the idea: for all have sinned. And that is something we understand and can relate to.

The bible speaks more to our commonality than our diversity, whether it is our common sin problem, or our common solution found in the Gospel.

The bible does not speak to our diversity. For example, the bible says very little about parenting, though parenting is a huge part of most people’s lives and our parental experiences are quite diverse. The bible does not speak definitively about singleness and most certainly does not speak to the differing aspects of singleness that singles go through.

But the bible does speak specifically to all our lives. The bible has all we need for life and godliness.

While I understand a person’s desire for me to “walk where they have walked” I also want to release them from the “need” to find someone who totally understands their situation because of a similar, personal experience. While I do see the relevance in the desire, I do not see the need.

If we require this kind of condition for counseling then Jesus would not qualify to help us because he was never married, divorced, had kids, did drugs and the like.

What I recommend for counselors is to speak to their commonality rather than their diversity. Speak to the causal core before you get into practical aspects regarding behavior.

For married couples, here are some books I ask all my counselees to consider reading, regardless of their issues.

My Top Ten List.

If they can apply the truths contained in these books, they will not see a need for mirrored relate-ability.

IN THIS SERIES  

1. I Rebuke You For Using the Word “Client”
2. A Response to My Rebuke

Here are some of the words I use to identify the folks I serve: Friend, Brother, Sister, Client and Counselee. My least favorite word in this list is “counselee.” I honestly do not care for that word at all and only use it in my writings and in some conversation with others. But it is not how I view them. The reason I don’t care for the word is twofold:

The word is not in the bible, which is a weak argument, I realize. However, I think it is deeper than “just not in the bible.” The word has a connotation that the bible does not support. The connotation is Person A who has a problem is meeting with Person B who does not have a problem. The “counselor” designation can connote superiority, while the word counselee can connote a person in need of help. I like Paul’s thoughts on the subject where he as the “counselor” considered himself the “foremost” sinner. It is not easy for me to embrace the “foremost sinner” truth if I consider myself the “counselor.” 

I have many temptations, the biggest is my ongoing temptations with self-righteousness. I aggressively fight this temptation daily. The last thing I want to do is view the folks I serve as inferior to me and the word “counselee” can get me into my self-righteous funk as quickly as anything. My favorite designation is the word “friend.” This is what Christ chose to call us. I like this a lot and this is how I consistently think of the folks I serve.

Secondly, the word “counselee” as well as the word “client” connote primarily a context outside the local church. This is my biggest struggle of all. I am not convinced that counseling is the primary way we need to think about sanctification. I think we need to put more effort into pursuing and envisioning people about God’s primary context for change, which is the local church.

Therefore, I use the word “client” over “counselee” because of my sin tendencies toward self-righteousness. However, I prefer to not use either word because both words do not natively lead a person to have a high view of the local church.

My primary word choice is “friend.” However, I will use the word “client” most of the time in my writings instead of the word counselee.

I also do not care for the word “nouthetic” and rarely use it. In fact I rarely use it outside a NANC context. The word is too narrow. If I have to use a word for counseling then I’ll use the term “Christian Counseling.” However, counseling, counselor, nouthetic, Christian Counselor or Biblical Counselor are not bible words and if I had my way I would not use any of them. 

The best context for change is the local church.

The best word to communicate the process of change is discipleship.

The best case scenario as far as terminology is two friends coming alongside one another for discipleship purposes in the context of the local church.

There were four gifts given to the church in Ephesians 4 and they are the Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists and Pastors. The counselor is not a gift given to the church. This is a created category that some folks like to emphasize. I think there are dangers here that need to be addressed. Besides what I’ve already said, I have observed a tendency toward a two-tier view of discipleship: those who can counsel and those who cannot.

I cannot tell you how many pastors and other Christians I have run into over the years who have told me they can’t counsel. Quite frankly I find this odd and unbiblical. I don’t think anyone is called to counsel, but I do believe we all are commanded to come alongside one another to serve through discipleship. And I don’t think it is necessary to split hairs here by making a distinction between counseling and discipleship.

SUMMARY

1. In light of these things, I have more problems with the different counseling type designations than just the word client. I use the word client to communicate the type of context I’m working in, and mostly just in my writings.
2. I use the word counseling and counselor and client on my blog and other forms of media because people know these words. Though I don’t believe in them per se, I also know that in order to be relevant and understood it would be better to use words people are looking for. However, as soon as I get the opportunity, I will try to reorient their thinking with regards to the above terminology.
3. I rarely use the word “counselee” or “counselor” because of my own sin issues with self-righteousness. I want to remind myself and the folks I serve that this is not a counselor/counselee context, but two friends seeking to serve one another and I urge my friends to counsel me as well. And this has happened many times. It is easier for my friends to correct their friend than a counselee to correct their counselor. And I aggressively pursue correction.
4. I tell my clients very quickly that I don’t care for biblical counseling and most of the baggage that comes with this 20th Century contrived context for sanctification. Though most everyone who comes to me for counseling sees himself/herself as a counselee and me the counselor, a part of all my counseling is to debunk this notion and to begin a process of giving them a vision for the biblical context for change. And that context is not the counseling office. It is the local church. And if they expect to be cared for during the rest of their lives, they will need to make this transition in their minds. Obviously they cannot come to see me for the rest of their lives in a counseling context. Counseling, though beneficial, is isolated, disjointed and is not God’s best way. Counseling, at best, is for a season in their lives and it gets them over the crisis, so they can then move back into the local church and continue to grow in the sanctification process. But God’s best is for this to take place in a discipleship context in the local church. I question the necessity of the counseling context, though I do understand why it exists.
5. The primary reason I’m in the counseling business is because of a “system failure” within the local church, but I’m spending my life trying to fix that problem.
6. I’d rather guard the door of the local church and seek to elevate a more robust vision for the local church than guard the door of counseling language. I am more concerned about how we view counseling than the language we use unless that language can elevate our view of the local church.

Some helpful articles for your consideration

• Inherent Liabilities with Biblical Counseling
• Can’t the Local Church Do This?
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Part One
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Part Two
• Strategy for Counseling People Outside Your Local Church
• Desire and Burden Does Not Make a Counselor
• Counseling Paradigms
• To Certify or Not to Certify: That is the question for counselors

You can read yesterday’s post to see what I’m responding to: “I Rebuke You For Using the Word “Client.“

Hello [Friend]!

Thank you so much for your email. I’m quite grateful on many levels that you would send it. 

Primarily my gratitude is that you would care enough about me to write the email. You may be aware that there can be a tendency to “think it” but not be courageous or grace-filled enough to “share it.” I’m grateful for your courage and God’s grace acting in your life.

I’m also grateful that you would sign your name. Sometimes I get anonymous emails, which I do not respect, do not respond to and most certainly they are not edifying. You were kind enough to let me know who you are. That is biblical and caring.

My gratitude is also for your conviction on a point that is important to you. I really respect that. This is much better than the ambiguous, wishy-washy approach of agreeing outwardly, but really disagreeing inwardly. Thank you!

This is my short list of things I appreciate about your email and, therefore, appreciate about you.

My only observation, which is a small one I’m sure, is that you did not ask me “why” I do this. The reason I say it is a “small one” is because I’m quite sure you do not counsel this way. I’m also aware that email is not the best means to correct someone and, therefore, your counseling, I’m sure, is less accusational and more question-asking. Therefore, it is not a biggie. 

However, I do think it would be better to ask the “why” question as much as possible, whenever possible. There could be, possibly, another view that you have not considered. Maybe not, but I’m mainly thinking of myself here. What I mean is that I can be quite myopic in my perspective on certain things and I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have thought, or worse yet, accused, or articulated my opinion on a matter only to find out later that I had not considered the whole matter nor had I asked enough questions. 

Though I’m sure this does not apply to you, it certainly does apply to me. At the end of the day, as one of my posts clearly articulates, I’m the biggest sinner I know. The more you interact with me, the more you’ll come to a similar conclusion.

And though you did not ask me why I use the word “client” I am going to respond to you. My thinking is, though I could be wrong, that if one person struggles with this matter there could be others thinking the same thing. I think your perspective is a thoughtful one and it could be held by many.

Of course I would disagree with you on this point, though I probably consider it more minor than you. If I’m going to guard the “counseling door” so to speak this is not the door where I’m going to spend a lot of time. There are more important issues in my mind and I’ll get to that in my response.

However, I want to be reflective and prayerful and not just throw something out there for your consideration. On a few occasions I have taken the READY – FIRE – AIM approach to things. That will not serve you and it would not glorify God. I must first examine my motives, my penchant toward self-righteousness and my continued struggles with arrogance. I hope that I can examine and repent of the log in my eye, carefully consider your words and seek where I can grow and learn from what you are saying.

As you noted, you have been counseling nearly three times longer than me. I’m a “pup” in such matters. You are the one I want to learn from.

So give me some time and I’ll try to serve you and then you can make a more accurate judgment by having the “why” question answered.

And, btw, I will not use your name. My goal is to

1. Examine my own wicked heart;
2. Serve you, my friend;
3. Serve the folks God brings to this blog, most of whom cherish counseling as much as you and I.

Thank you, my friend. You have served me well. You have challenged me. You have encouraged me. I’m grateful to God for you.

With much respect and desire to learn from you,

Rick

Mailbag: Last month I received this rebuke from a friend in another country. I’m not sure what to make of it, but thought that maybe some of you would concur with my friend so I wanted to throw it out here for you.

Until recently I was enjoying your blogs. But of late I have become very concerned as to where you are heading.

I have been a Biblical counselor for over thirty years and never once have I considered those I counseled a client. The unsaved were friends and the saved were brothers or sisters in Christ, at least in my mind.

Did Jesus consider those He ministered to as clients? Did the apostle Paul do the same at Ephesus when he called in on families to counsel them?

Does Gal. 6:1 hint that we should see those we seek to help as clients and should I sit across from someone I am ministering during the week in church on a Sunday and consider them a client?

There is a tendency to want to match it with the world and I am afraid that you may be falling into the same trap, shame on you brother.

I trust that you will take this small rebuke in the spirit that it is intended, one of a loving and concerned challenge as to your terminology not your motives.

Blessing to you brother and upon your service for the Lord

Mailbag: I received this email from a reader. It is reflective, sobering and insightful. With his permission, I’m posting it for you.

 Rick, I have a theological question for you that hit me tonight. It is kind of linked to the Cross Centered Life concept. This focus is clearly a huge deal at our church, but what hit me tonight was that this whole time the Gospel or the Cross-Centered Life seems to be the answer for pretty much everything. And I’m sure, in one sense, it is the answer and should be the answer.

Tonight our group discussion was on the topic of suffering and how to respond to suffering. And, no surprise, the answer again was that if we keep our focus on what God did for us on the cross, his suffering for us, his grace towards us, then we will be able to get through our suffering and will be better able to give him glory through it.

I believe this!

To a point.

It not only sounds good, but it seems right. But then it hit me that it gets to the place where this kind of response could become a mind game or in a sense it could even be said that it comes back to us operating in our own power in a way.

What I mean is that sometimes it sounds like if we work and discipline ourselves to focus on what Christ did, we will  conjure up enough personal will to be able to see our way through whatever crisis or issue we are working through. 

Now, I do not intend or want to sway anyone into negating the accuracy or importance of keeping a view of what Christ has done for us on the Cross. But, I’m not sure if I’m still willing to keep calling it the “main thing“ if we are talking about applying it to our sanctification, which was the point of our small group meeting. It is the “main thing,” the only thing,  to the point of his work of paying the price for my sin. But now since that work has been applied (Salvation) on my behalf and he has redeemed my lost and sinful state, is it theologically precise to put this one great act of the Godhead in a single box and call it the “main thing” if we need to apply it to our sanctification?

What is the role of the Holy Spirit in our sanctification?

• But what about the power of the Holy Spirit?
• Isn’t there clear teaching in God’s Word about the power, work, and presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives?
• Why have I not heard much at all about the work of the Holy Spirit, John 14, 15?
• Isn’t He’s the Comforter Who teaches us and gives us power?
• In passages like Romans 8, don’t we see Paul guiding us towards a heavy reliance on the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives even to the extent of contrasting it to systems that are built on human will (especially v.5)?

Tonight in our small group there was not a word said about the Holy Spirit’s work of teaching, comforting, empowering me in my temptation or supporting me in time of suffering. I’m trying to think back and don’t recall the teaching pastor mentioning it either.

Could I suggest that it may be theologically weak to say that the cross is the main thing if we are not bringing the whole Trinity into our understanding and practice of sanctification? The cross is huge! The cross certainly creates a strong mental picture, certainly it throws the scale way off balance and leaves me infinitely in debt to my Savior who loved me when I had rejected him. But while the picture of the cross and the picture of his grace must be vivid in our lives, far more so than I’ve ever sensed before, it seems that if we stop with only a picture of the cross that we could end up with an Off-Centered Life.

I FEAR THAT THE CROSS-ONLY EMPHASIS MAY

1. Fail to teach us to consistently seek the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
2. Fail to see the real source of power that comes from God which is the Holy Spirit and thus will allow us to fail to give praise for the Holy Spirit’s work.
3. Strips the Holy Spirit of one of his primary works in my life.
   
4. Risks packaging our incomprehensible God and Saviour into a user friendly box such that our society, who seeks fast food-like answers to life’s questions, may fail to search out further knowledge of the Holy Spirit, all of God’s attributes, and all of God’s works beyond the cross.
5. In a sense it seems to bring my obedience back to my diligence to focus on what he did as a leverage to obey him in my own power because of gratitude and a sense of responsibility.

Am I missing something?

Continued from Part One

And now here we come: the third generation of counselors. This next generation is standing on the shoulders of these great men and their systems. This third generation is giving the counseling world a more refined motive as well as a more biblical context for change.

The Bible’s Primary Motive for Change

And what is the Bible’s primary motive for change?

It’s the Gospel!

There has been, over the past 10 years, a renewed and necessary emphasis in the Gospel as it pertains to sanctification. Imagine that! Gospel-centered counseling literature is something you did not read a lot about 10 to 15 years ago. But that is changing.

We are relearning how the Gospel should have supreme effect on our counseling. This is not a new way to counsel. It is the Bible way. Paul would declare with clarity that he didn’t want to know anything else, but the Gospel. (See 1 Corinthians 2:20) There are plenty more texts that would support the argument for Gospel-motivated change.

Notice Paul’s Gospel connection in Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. In this text Paul is connecting our motive to be kind, tenderhearted and forgiving to the Gospel.

Read also Matthew 18:23-35 for another Gospel connection regarding the reason we do what we do.

The Bible’s Primary Context for Change

The second point the third generation counselor is bringing into focus is the primary context for sanctification to take place. That is the local church. In our haste and zeal for this renewed interest in counseling we have in some ways overrun our boundary markers. What I mean is that just because “anyone can be a counselor” should not mean that “anyone can counsel” effectively.

Counseling has, in some sectors, taken on a life of its own within the local church and in some cases it can be at odds with the leadership and normal body life of the local church. It can’t be the tail wagging the dog.

For example, I supervised a man once upon a time who had this zealous desire to be a counselor. However, at the end of the day he was not a good one. He had limited people skills. He didn’t understand the intricacies of counseling. He was harsh, too simplistic and jagged around the edges and the people he tried to serve were not served.

He was a mechanic and a mechanic was the best possible way for him to serve the body of Christ. However, he went to counseling conferences, where he was told he could counsel, he could get equipped to counsel and he should be counseling because the bible tells us so. (A hyperbolic stretching of Romans 15:14.)

Quite frankly, I would not want my children going to some conference where they were told they could be a movie star and they come home and forsake their God-given gifting for a pipe dream without the counsel of the one who is responsible for them (their dad.).

And I think we counselors can do a disservice to our friends when we tell them they can be counselors or should be counselors when it would be better for them to spend Saturday afternoon under the hood of a car with a rebellious teen teaching him a trade in the context of building a relationship.

Let’s not call it counseling. Let’s call it biblical friendship. Or let’s call it discipleship. But to call it counseling can create an unnecessary problem for our friends. Let’s release them from the burden of becoming a counselor and introduce them to the local church where they can be a friend in the context of community.

I am not anti-counseling, but I am pro discipleship. In my opinion the pastors should be setting the trajectory for the sanctification process in the lives of their people rather than folks like me. Therefore, there is a significant emphasis in my training to encourage the folks I’m serving to support, submit, follow and of all things be a “joy to pastor.” (Heb. 13:17)

I don’t know the people that come to me for counselor training like their shepherds. I also don’t sit in on Elder meetings and I’m not hearing the heart of the leadership and the direction they are taking and how they are hearing from God and what God is telling them and how they want to lead the folks God is holding them accountable to. I want to tread carefully when I’m “mess’in with somebody else’s sheep.”

Therefore, my program focuses on the main thing regarding change (Gospel) and the main place for change to take place (Local Church), whether we’re talking about the counselee or the counselor. I don’t consider myself better than those who have gone before me in any way, shape or form. But I can stand on the shoulders of the great ones and I praise God for that.

And I am truly grateful for this renewed emphasis on the Gospel for our sanctification and the local church as the primary context for that to take place.

Other articles in this series

• Case Study: Counselees and the Local Church
• Case Study: Are You NANC Certified?
• Should I Be NANC Certified?
• To Certify or Not to Certify: That is the Question for Counselors
• Counseling Solutions Training Program to Equip Counselors
• Desire and Burden Do Not Make a Biblical Counselor
• Inherent Liabilities with Biblical Counseling
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Pt. 1
• Counseling Today: Standing on Jay’s Shoulders, Pt. 2
• Can’t the Local Church Do This?
• Two Ways to Become a Better Counselor
• My Top Choices for Counselor Training
• Do I Need a License to Be a Christian Counselor