Lucia is a wife and a mother, in that order. We have never gotten those two important roles reversed. She was a wife before she was a mother and Lord willing, long after the kids are gone, she will continue to be a wife. While neither one of us disparage, make light of, or marginalize the incredible privilege of being a mother, we want to make sure that we both understand that being a wife is the higher privilege.
- The husband and wife relationship was the first human community ever formed. (Genesis 2:18)
- The husband and wife relationship is a picture of Jesus Christ and His Church. (Ephesians 5:32)
- The husband and wife relationship is not two people, but one flesh. (Ephesians 5:29)
- Children are encouraged to leave their parents to form their own autonomous, domestic, empire, while the husband and the wife are exhorted to stay together until death. (Genesis 2:24-25; Ephesians 5:31)
Some Helpful & General Marriage Advice
Husbands, be sure your children know the difference between your wife and their mother. When my children sin against their mother, they automatically know that they have sinned against my wife. And there is a difference between sinning against their mother and my wife. To sin against their mother is one thing, but to sin against my wife is to sin against me because Lucia and I are one flesh. And when they sin against us, they are sinning against God.
- Husband, how are you at protecting your wife?
- Do you allow your children to continue to sin against you by sinning against your wife?
- Does your wife feel and experience this elevated level of protection and care?
Husbands, how do you see your wife? Do you see her more as a mother or as a wife? Listen to what Peter said in his first letter,
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)
Peter changes the playing field: how you live with your wife will determine how you relate to God. If you model this passage of Scripture in your marriage, then your interaction with God will be unimpeded. However, to devalue your relationship with your wife will inevitably and inalterably lead to divine repercussions.
She is a Stradivarius
Wikipedia described a Stradivarius violin this way,
A Stradivarius is a violin or other stringed instrument built by a member of the Stradivari family, particularly Antonio Stradivari. According to their reputation, the quality of their sound has defied attempts to explain or reproduce. The name “Stradivarius” has also become a superlative applied to designate excellence. To be called “the Stradivari” of any field is to be deemed the finest there is.
Now let’s take the definition for one of the finest musical instruments known to man and define a wife similarly.
A wife is built and called by God. According to His reputation, the quality of her role and who He joins her to has defied attempts to explain or reproduce. The name “Wife” has become a superlative applied to designate excellence. To be called “a wife” is to be deemed the finest there is.
- Husband, do you see your wife as your most cherished possession, outside of Christ?
- Ask her today to share with you how she experiences your honoring of her.
- If your children are old enough, ask them their interpretation of 1 Peter 3:7 as it pertains to your marriage.
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