My friend Sonja Piper Dosti is a former Senior VP within the Hollywood community. Today she is a pastor’s wife and mother. I asked her if she would share her insider perspective on the hit movie The Blind Side. Sonja’s husband pastors Sun River Community Church in Fresno, CA.

Having worked in the film and TV industry as an exec and producer, it wasn’t easy being a Christian. Christians are a minority in the entertainment industry and most stay “in the closet,” fearing discrimination due to a post-modern, unbiblical worldview that permeates the business. Because of a lack of understanding of true biblical Christianity, Hollywood perceives that Christians are blind, racist, sexist, intolerant, gay bashing simpletons, not to mention hypocritical. As a result, it often portrays evangelical characters as such in numerous films and television series. Conversely, Hollywood will also create a character who claims to be a Christian and appears to be a “good person”, but in fact does not embody biblical principles.

Case in point: The Blind Side. Most major studios shy away from “feel-good” dramas as they’re not high-concept enough (think action-packed, 3-D, & based on a comic book) to attract a huge audience, especially males. For years, Hollywood ignored its female audience until movies like Titanic, Twilight, and Mamma Mia revealed the power of the purse. The Blind Side enjoyed huge commercial and critical success due to its top-notch performances, an uplifting and inspiring message, and the fact that it was based on a true story. Not only did it attract a female audience, but the backdrop of football made it palatable for husbands and boyfriends who reluctantly tagged along.

For all we know, the real-life Tuohys may have a wonderful marriage based on biblical principles. However, a biblical marriage is not as interesting to explore because it seems old-fashioned, backwards, and sexist, making the film a tougher sell than it already is. As noted in Rick’s review of the film, Leigh Anne Tuohy’s character is a domineering and strong-willed woman, surrounded by a bunch of passive, inept males (her younger son being the only exception to this rule). Since this film was created as a vehicle for a major actress, the writer/director and/or studio may have taken fictional liberties in order to make the part more attractive for a bigger-name star. Stars like Julia Roberts (the director had purportedly written the part with her in mind) and Sandra Bullock would most likely have passed on the role if Leigh Anne had been a helper to her husband with a quiet and gentle spirit, rather than how she’s portrayed in the film. After all, being a complementarian doesn’t win Academy Awards; being sassy and ruling over others does.

Sadly, The Blind Side is only one of many films and TV series that depict unbiblical marriages, which is a product of the curse (Gen 3). How many times do we see the shrill, contentious, and overbearing wife married to the emasculated husband who seems obsessed with sex and sports? Why? The Bible states in Genesis 3:16, “Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” I personally, hold to the interpretation, held by many commentators, where the desire of the woman is to rule or control her husband. This curse of the fallen woman is simply being portrayed on the big screen as the wish fulfillment of powerful women and the reality lived out in the lives of many male screenwriters.

Biblical Manhood & Womanhood: Our View

The biblical view of marriage is that a wife is to be a helper to her husband (Gen 3:18). Her priorities are to love God, submit to and respect her husband (Eph 5:22, 33), and care for her children and household (Pro 31; Titus 2:4-5). As sinners, it is impossible for women to abide by these commandments. It is more natural and common for a woman to want to dominate and disrespect her husband, and to seek her own good over placing the needs of her family first. However, all things are possible with Christ (Phil 4:13). No one deserves an Oscar more than an actress who can portray a truly biblical wife—to play such a role is a stretch for anyone and a performance of a lifetime.

The Gospel: The Point for All of Life

It’s ironic that Hollywood seems to denigrate and misrepresent biblical Christianity since many of its greatest hits benefit from biblical stories. Christ figures, sacrificial atonement, and redemption abound, as we’ve seen in the finale of television’s Lost, the critically acclaimed The Dark Knight, and even in the still popular Star Wars series. Hollywood doesn’t seem to learn from these successful films, nor from overtly Christian-themed films such as The Passion of the Christ or Fireproof. Everyone craves a story with redemption because we’re all lost and we know it (Rom 1). The greatest story of all time is the redemption and salvation of sinful, broken people who deserve the worst punishment. The writer and creator of that story is none other than Jesus Christ Himself. He deserves the greatest acclaim and honor that no critic or award can ever bestow.

For further reading about biblical manhood and womanhood, please go to The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood site.

Other Related Articles

• The Sad Side to The Blind Side
• Comments From My Readers On The Blind Side
• Hollywood’s Blind Side: an insider’s look at the hit movie The Blind Side

Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel

Free Counseling Advice via Twitter

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1. Caveat #1 – I loved the redemptive qualities of the movie.
2. Caveat #2 – I did not love the egalitarian Hollywood slant of the movie
3. Caveat #3 – I critiqued the movie, not the Tuohy family. I have no idea what this family is really like and would tend to think they are better than how they were portrayed. I do have suspicions of Hollywood’s ability to portray a Christian family correctly. And I would not want them to write a movie about my life. I think they would miss the point.

Here are a few comments from friends

I agree with your opinions of the movie (Rick, John, Marie..), and today I commented to my wife that the family model presented in this movie has its resemblances to the Simpsons family… – Fernando

I cannot express how much this post ministered to me. I struggled with my thoughts after the movie because I did not walk away with the warm fuzzy feeling so many talked about! I rarely, if at all, go to movies, but after the rave reviews I was compelled. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable I was when it was over! I did not think it was a great movie on every level you noted! But I seemed to be alone. THANK YOU for this bold, truthful review. Two thumbs up! – Cynthia

After I watched The Blind Side with my husband and cried and laughed, I turned to him and said, “you know the sad thing is that Sandra Bullock does all the leading. ” Thanks Rick for articulating how a good movie with a happy ending can miss the mark biblically.

I understand Hollywood did not set out to make a scripturally correct movie, I understand that the Tuohy’s did a wonderful thing, and based on an interview I saw with Leigh Anne Tuohy, many people have sent letters attesting to their new found resolutions of not spending their money on themselves or their things, but on donating and assisting others. But as a Christian woman I mourn for the lack of male leadership in our world.

As a Christian our best witness is the salt we bring and the light we show as we walk through life. But; our salt and light should be exemplified in light of biblical truth and those roles intended by our creator.

Unlike, Rick Thonas, I would recommend the movie as a good story, and an example of the need for dedicated foster/adoptive parents, not as a biblical example of gender roles within the family or society – Cindy

I saw it the same way! – Kimberly

Thank you for this honest evaluation. – Heather

Michael was undeserving of this families love as I was of God’s love for me. That’s what I choose to see when I watch this movie. Yes, the mother assumes the family’s leadership role in the home. I wonder if that is to be blamed on a strong wife or a weak husband. – Robert

Thank you for blogging about this issue with “The Blind Side.” Sadly, your post is the first I’ve read about this very troubling reality, though hopefully I’ve missed someone else shedding light on the problem. This well-framed truth you share has been a reality in Hollywood “entertainment” since, well, everything past “Father Knows Best” in the 1950’s. From TV sitcom, to cartoon and childrens’ programming, to film, men are very consistently portrayed as incompetent, emasculated, buffoonish, “butt of the joke” that his wife and kids are squarely in on…so far from the Biblical design of fatherhood.

As one who tries to be proactive in parenting, the greatest value to this film and others that share its central fault is as a discussion tool with my children after viewing about “the ‘man’ behind the proverbial curtain” of Hollywood entertainment and the slyness and ease with which such subliminal anti-Biblical messages are so commonly woven throughout such productions. I must say I have not yet had the courage let them view it even as a teaching point…maybe when they’re old enough to drive. – John

I completely agree with it being portrayed that way…very disappointing part. I am a huge advocate for proper roles and women being biblically submissive to their husband’s. Anyone that knows me knows that. I know men have their part, but as a woman, I concentrate on my role that God has created me for and my husband, his. Our home is active in the headship order… – Stephanie

Firstly there’s no doubt that the story of Oher and what the Tuohy family did for him (and certainly others that crossed their paths) is a wonderful redemptive story and example for us.

However, it’s quite evident that Hollywood took great liberties in portraying key people in ways that are all-too-typical in movies and media. The submissive husband, the dumb athletic coach, the lusting football players, and the smart, dominant, type-A female – all blatant stereotypes.

Oher has admitted in interview that the way he is portrayed in various parts of the movie is not accurate. No doubt the role of Mrs. Tuohy has been embellished to fit the mold Hollywood desires us to buy into.

It may sell movies, but it does not reflect an accurate portrayal of biblical manhood and womanhood. – Jim

Rick, we just watched this movie as a family about a month ago, and it’s funny that you picked up on EXACTLY the same thing my husband and I both commented on during the film! (We were actually laughing about it, though – it was just so in-your-face obvious that this was no 1st Peter-type lady).

In the scene when the family sat down to dinner and she (not the father) led them in prayer, my husband joked, “Oh, so she’s the leader of the family?” I said, “well, it’s pretty clear who wears the pants in this family! She needs to read Martha Peace’s ‘Excellent Wife’.”

I would say that the wife portrayed in the film, (while certainly well-intentioned and sincere), was NOT following the biblical model of male headship in the home, and therefore was not in obediance to God. Keep in mind that we are talking about a fictional character, as who knows what the film makers did with the story. Multiple times, she directly went against her husband’s wishes, she spoke disrespectfully and in an arrogant tone to him, and completely called the shots as far as Michael’s entrance exams/tutoring was concerned. Not once did she seek his guidance or suggest they pray together about decisions and seek God’s will. She was portrayed as good-hearted, yet very much a product of an increasingly unbiblical culture – vain, domineering, slightly manipulative, bossy, and yes; the pants she wore in the football field scene were immodest for a Christian woman to wear (not just skin-tight, but see-through. Sorry. Every Christian woman over the age of 12 knows you don’t wear white pants that tight — no matter what color your briefs are. We know exactly what we’re doing when we get dressed. And no; that’s not legalism talking. It’s common sense).

If you want specific passages, I would say the principles of Ephesians 5:22-24 were violated, as well as 1 Peter 3:1-6 and possibly Proverbs 19:13. – Marie

I had exactly the same take on this movie, although to me the most offensive part to me came at the end.

That was when the supposed Christian dad was encouraging this young man to “have a lot of fun” with the young girls walking by on the college campus that he was to attend. The idea was clear that he wanted the young man to “sow some wild oats.” Then the mom followed with “if you get a girl pregnant out of wedlock, I’m going to cut your p…. off.” The standard she was promoting was go ahead and have sex with these girls, just don’t get them pregnant.

This is Hollywood’s portrayal of Christian families, and unfortunately in many cases the portrayal is accurate. May Christian parents teach biblical standards and warn about lust, fornication and other sexual sins. “God is not mocked…..” – Alan

For further reading about biblical manhood and womanhood, please go to The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood site.

Other Related Articles

• The Sad Side to The Blind Side
• Comments From My Readers On The Blind Side
• Hollywood’s Blind Side: an insider’s look at the hit movie The Blind Side

Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel

Free Counseling Advice via Twitter

Free Counseling Advice via Weekly eBlast

Checkout Counseling Solution’s Membership Training Site

And, per usual, I cried at four different points during the movie. Thankfully, God has so affected me by His Gospel that I am regularly moved at the slightest hint of a redemption story. And The Blind Side is a classic redemption story. Michael Oher is a poor kid from the worst side of town, who is going through some of the most horrific circumstances. In time he is “redeemed” by a wealthy family, who has the wherewithal to provide for him all he could ever want or need.

Through this unimaginable connection Michael is schooled academically as well as in football. He is given the chance of a lifetime to go to college and later to be drafted by the NFL. The Blind Side is called an extraordinary true story and it is indeed. Michael is currently playing for the NFL. His journey is amazing. There is a running echo of the Gospel throughout.

The Sad Side to The Blind Side

Per usual, any good story out of Hollywood has a side that is frustrating to the point that it somewhat negates the goodness of the storyline. I do not know how true the movie is to true life, so I can only comment on the story as portrayed from the movie’s interpretation.

Sandra Bullock plays an aggressive, unsubmissive, egalitarian, feminist, who has the male authority figures in her life cowing down to her whims and sin patterns. Admittedly her husband is a successful entrepreneur, but when it comes to the art of husbandry, he acts more along the lines of a wimp rather than a biblical man. (BTW, they are portrayed as Christians.)

While you can almost give the husband a hall pass because he does show some leadership qualities in the business world, the coach of the high school football team completely flunks out. He is portrayed as a man who has limited capacities as a coach. It is only when Sandra comes out to the practice field and “coaches Michael up”, while pulling some of the other players around the field by grabbing their face masks, that Michael is truly affected athletically. (It is amazing to me that a smallish woman like Sandra can actually bully football players around by yanking on their face masks.)

And, true to form, when Sandra walks off the field some of the players stand gawking at her backside. These players were fulfilling their roles as men, who can do nothing more than lust after the opposite sex. The story was clear: men are stupid and lustful while women are the ones who can get things done.

It personally irks me to see men and women portrayed this way. We live in a feminist culture. It’s a girl world where men are not allowed to be men, not even in the holy sanctum of athletics. Sports is the last bastion where men are allowed to be men and now Sandra is prancing across the practice field jerking men around while mocking the coach, who apparently is not qualified to lead the men he is charged to lead.

It was so over-the-top that I would not recommend this movie, watch it again, or own it. I have written on the number one marriage counseling issue of all-time: Weak Men and Strong Women. This is a huge issue in our culture and it has taken a stranglehold on our Christian culture as well. The Blind Side exemplifies our culture’s feministic agenda very well. I hope you are not blind-sided by the anti-Christian worldview of this movie.

For further reading about biblical manhood and womanhood, please go to The Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood site.

Other Related Articles

• The Sad Side to The Blind Side
• Comments From My Readers On The Blind Side
• Hollywood’s Blind Side: an insider’s look at the hit movie The Blind Side

You may also be interested in

• Weak Men & Strong Women
• You are a leader
• True leadership is balanced leadership

Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel

Free Counseling Advice via Twitter

Free Counseling Advice via Weekly eBlast

Checkout Counseling Solution’s Membership Training Site

Dear NGL Film Supporters,

I wanted to take a moment and seek your support in prayer for our film – “No Greater Love”. We would ask that you pray for us during the next two weeks as we are getting closer to getting distribution on the film. We thank you for supporting this film and the message in this film. We will keep you updated as news is made available. We ask you to pray for us to have wisdom and to do what glorifies God the most in our decisions. Again, thanks for your prayer support and please keep getting the word out there about NGL –We need the support of the Christian body for this film.

In Christ,

Russ Rice
President
Coram Deo Studios Inc.
www.nglmovie.com

I was hesitant about a Christian movie on the big screen, but this one was one of the better ones I’ve seen as far a quality of acting and cinematography. Admittedly it was not up to the quality standards of your typical Hollywood movie, but the story line does pick-up and the average quality is not a big deal as you are drawn into the story.

I came home and immediately recommended the movie to a couple who are going through some significant marriage problems. You may want to consider going with or asking the folks you serve to consider going. The movie does well in putting the main thing in perspective.

The Gospel was not over the top, but they certainly did not hold back. The message is clear and it makes sense. It was presented very well, without apology.

This is a must-see movie. I’d recommend you get all your friends out to see the movie, or when it comes out on DVD you have Fireproof Parties.

Cameron feels the movie exemplifies his beliefs. “The reason this movie was important to me personally is because I love my wife dearly,” he said. “We’ve been married for 17 years … and we have six children. So marriage is a very special and sacred thing to us. In a day and age where marriage is falling apart, we want to make movies and projects that really uphold and have a high view of that which is beautiful and wonderful in our culture.”