Because biblical counseling is not a major theme in Scripture, I try to think about biblical counseling within a biblical framework rather than a secular framework. The biblical framework is discipleship. Biblical counseling, if it is biblical, should be thought about and refined through a discipleship lens. Some aspects of biblical counseling tends to imitate more of a therapeutic model than a biblical model.
Homework can be one such case, though many secular models do not use homework at all.
My goal is to make disciples, rather than counselees. Jesus did not give counsel to counselees. Jesus was a disciple-maker and his model for “counseling” communicated his vision, goals and methods quite clearly. When a counselee comes to me, I want to steer them as far from a counselee mindset as I can. How I give them homework can, in part, help communicate this vision, while equipping them for a better Christian life.
Do I give homework to those I counsel? Yes, I do give homework. And the homework I give is very similar to the homework that other biblical counselors give. However, I tend to give it in a different way than some biblical counselors. Here are some examples:
Personal Data Inventory
I’ve already blogged on this a few days ago. I do use the PDI form, though no counselee of mine has ever seen one, heard of one or could tell you what one is. I ask the questions, rather than give the questions. I want to spend time with them talking to them in order to build a relationship with them. The PDI is a great way to build relationally. I want them to see me, not a form. I want them to interact with me, not a form. I want their first experience in counseling to be with a person, not a form.
Log Lists
I rarely give the “log list” homework assignment. Though my counselees probably could not tell you what the homework assignment is, they could tell you what it means and could take you to Matthew 7:3-5 and walk you through what it means to have a log in their eye and a speck in the other person’s eye. They visually see this and they don’t forget the illustration as they practically apply this truth of the Savior to their lives.
I Now Call You My Friends
When a counselee comes to me, I do not view them as a counselee. I don’t want them to think of themselves as counselees. They are either my friends or they will soon become my friends. The one friend (counselee) has asked another friend (counselor) to help him work through a problem. Yes, I am a counselor, teacher, trainer, and a coach. But Jesus said, I now call you friends. My primary way of thinking about the folks I serve is friends. They are my friends.
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. – The Savior, John 15:15
Keeping the End in Mind
If the goal for counseling is for the counselee to become a God-glorifying, Christlike disciplemaker, then I want to treat them more like Christians rather than counselees. Therefore, when they leave my office the first time I want them to leave thinking more like Christians think than what counselees think, which means I want them to act more like Christians than counselees.
Therefore, my “homework” is more along the lines of doing what other Christians do, or should be doing. Counseling is a temporary condition, while being a Christian is a way of life. The primary reason they are in the situational difficulty they are in is because they have not been consistently living out the Christian life. For this reason my homework is more along the lines of normal Christian disciplines rather than counseling homework. Here are a few examples:
- Prayer
- Communicate with one another, e.g. dating: reading, praying, walking, and talking together
- Read articles from my blog that are specific to the situational difficulty
- Read books that are specific to the situational difficulty
- Listen to sermons
- Journal what God is doing in your life. (This is not for everyone. Some folks are more wired to do this.)
- Attend church meetings
- Take notes of the sermons you listen to
- Connect and purposely build relationally within your small group (if you have small groups in your local church)
- Hospitality: invite friends into your home for in-depth biblical fellowship about what is going on in your lives
- Serving others in the context of the local church, which is huge, since most counselees have been generally selfish
Watch these training videos for a better vision of Christian counseling
I also assign some of my counselees to watch these videos. Again, my goal is to envision and equip them for the Christian life, which goes beyond the counseling season.
- Tips on Building Relationally with One Another
- Body to Body Ministry
- Paul & Timothy: A Discipleship Model
Learn more about my counseling model and philosophy here:
- Passive and Active Counseling
- A Day in the Life of a Biblical Counselor
- Counseling is not the Best Option if You Want to Change
Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel
