This is a true story. The name has been changed, but the circumstances have not. I have “Jean’s” permission to share her story.
Jean’s high view of herself is also called high self-esteem. The reason she struggles with the idea of God saving her is because she sees herself as sinning beyond God’s ability to save or that she has sinned so much that God would not want to save her. Either way, she has placed herself outside of God’s power or concern for her.
What she is saying is that she needs more than what God offers. Though she would disagree with this assessment intellectually as well as from a common biblical sense perspective, her functional theology (who she really is and how she really thinks) says that she does believe this.
Jean’s high view of herself or high self-esteem is biblically called self-righteousness. A person who is shocked at what they have done is a person who thinks too highly of themselves. They think they are better (more righteous) than they really are and they are appalled at what they have done.
In such cases the righteousness that Christ offers is not enough. Jean should be relieved to know that prior to salvation she is no different than the Apostle Paul or Adolf Hitler. There are no levels of depravity; we all are equally depraved before God. There may be levels of acting out our sin (Hitler), but there is no person with any hint of righteousness, thus we are all equally hopeless before God and it is only a divine act of God’s mercy that he would save any of us.
The Gospel is not about what we have done, but about what God has done on our behalf. God has atoned for our sins.
Atonement is getting rid of your sin by accepting God’s payment method through the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross. But for Jean, atonement works out in other ways. For example,
- Attempting to do more good than bad
- Denying, justifying or rationalizing her sins away
- Blaming or criticizing others in order to elevate herself, in order to feel good about herself
- Medicating herself in order to mute her conscience.
- Getting angry at others, which is a way of elevating herself above others
- Placing a judgment on herself that God does not place on a person, once he regenerates the person.
None of these “methods” have helped her deal with the reality of her sin. Therefore, her last “method” is suicide. As I stated in my articles on self-esteem, suicide is the end of the road for a person with high self-esteem.
Jean knows she has sinned, but rather than running to the Cross, she is trying to remove her sins in her own way, which she cannot do. This has led her to despair, depression, and thoughts of suicide. She is a big-time sinner who refuses to functionally believe that Christ is enough. From this session with her, I wrote the following five blog posts to unpack Jean’s theology of self and sin. You can read them here: Big Sinners vs. Little Sinners.
Pray for Jean. She is responding, but a lifetime of habituated thinking has adversely affected her. Thankfully, God’s grace is working in her life and she is humbly responding to God’s Word.
Articles in this series
Related Articles on the Dangers of Self-Esteem
- Loving Me: The Hidden Agenda of Self-Esteem, 1.0
- To Lower Your Self-Esteem is Good, 2.0
- Self-Esteem & the Tale of Ugly Betty, 3.0
- The End of the Road for High Self-Esteem is Suicide, 4.0
- Case Study: Sally’s Search for Self-Esteem, 5.0
- Did J. B. & Paul Struggle with Self-Worth, 6.0
Related Articles on Big Sinners vs. Little Sinners
- Problem: Big Sinners vs. Little Sinners – 1.0
- Churches with Big Sinners & Little Sinners – 2.0
- Adult Sinners with Big Problems – 3.0
- Acknowledged Sinners with Inexpressible Gratitude – 4.0
- Big Sinners, Little Sinners & the Worst Sinners – 5.0
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