Betty: “I hate myself because I’m so ugly!”
Counselor: “Now Betty, if you really hated yourself, you would be glad you were ugly. In fact you may even seek out ways to become uglier … if you really hated yourself.”
Dr. John Street, my prof at The Master’s College, shared this story with us while we were taking one of his classes back in the nineties. I never forgot the irony of the illustration. He said the scenario was a true story.
Whether or not it was true, the logic is quite true. Betty had fallen into the cultural trap of trying to look good, as propagated by the self-esteem gurus who patrol the pop-psychology waters spreading their twisted theology.
The Truth About Ugly Betty
The real truth is that Betty is so in love with herself that she hates the fact that she is ugly. (I’m assuming she is ugly. I do not know her. It is merely her perception of herself, as reported to her counselor.) Her line of reasoning is as follows: She looks in the mirror. She concludes she is ugly. She hates herself.
An honest assessment would go something like this:
- Betty looks in the mirror.
- Betty does not like what she sees, based on cultural dictates and personal preferences.
- Betty is out-of-sync with cultural expectations and also not in-line with her preferences.
- Because of Betty’s love for herself, she hates what she sees in the mirror.
- Therefore, Betty says she hates herself, but in reality she is in love with herself.
The real truth is that Betty has bought into the lie put forth by our culture regarding what accepted beauty should be like and she wants to be well-received by her peers. Betty believes that her looks do not meet the cultural expectations. Therefore, she is pushing, pressing, trimming, cutting and painting herself into a mold that she hopes will be accepted by those who pass judgment on such things.
Betty is a worshipper and the sad truth is that she is worshipping herself. (Those who struggle with eating disorders typically have similar issues.) People like Betty are more concerned about the group’s opinion of them than God’s opinion of them. Betty is more under the control of the fear of man (See Proverbs 29:25) than the fear of God. For her, God is not as important in her practical theology as the public opinion polls.
She has bought into our world’s theology that propagates the self-actualized man, by teaching that you must have a high opinion of yourself. The Self-Esteem Movement is one of the main proponents of this culture-based theology. Certain verses in the bible seem out-of-step and counter-intuitive to this movement.
Here are a few anti-self-esteem texts:
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes. – Job 42:5-6 (ESV)
We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. – Isaiah 64:6 (ESV)
as it is written: None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one. – Romans 3:10-12 (ESV)
The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. – 1 Timothy 1:15 (ESV)
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? – Jeremiah 17:9 (ESV)
Related Articles
- Loving Me: The Hidden Agenda of Self-Esteem, 1.0
- To Lower Your Self-Esteem is Good, 2.0
- Self-Esteem & the Tale of Ugly Betty, 3.0
- The End of the Road for High Self-Esteem is Suicide, 4.0
- Case Study: Sally’s Search for Self-Esteem, 5.0
- Did J. B. & Paul Struggle with Self-Worth, 6.0
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