Self-esteem feeds on what others think of us. If they think well of us, then we feel better. If they criticize, ridicule, or make fun of us, then we do not feel better. In order to embrace the concept of self-esteem we have to allow others to control us by their good or bad opinion.
We need their good opinion: they control us
We need others to confirm what we are trying to convince ourselves of in order for self-esteem to be completely effective. If others put us down or make fun of us, then it would be counter-productive to the high self-esteem agenda. For self-esteem to be true to its theory, then we need others to go along with us and to esteem us the way we are trying to esteem ourselves. If others do not cooperate by not loving us the way we love ourselves, then we have to work doubly hard at esteeming ourselves.
Biblically, self-esteem is called the fear of man. Fear of man elevates the opinion of man above the opinion of God.
The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. Proverbs 29:25 ESV
Fear of Man Explained
If feeling good about yourself is dependent upon your peer’s attitude toward you, then he/she will control you by raising or lowering your self-esteem. If they tell you that you’re cool, then you feel good. If they give you the thumbs down, then you feel bad. When a person buys into our culture’s version of shame (low self-esteem), they are moving headlong into a trap. The answer is not in how mankind views us, but an ever-increasing awareness that we are naked before God and must be clothed in the righteousness of Jesus Christ.
We do not have a problem with low self-esteem; the true problem is high self-esteem. Low esteeming of one’s self implies thinking little of one’s self. Jesus is the greatest example of this. Self-forgetfulness is the greatest place from which to serve others.
Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And he said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 22:36-40
Related Articles
- Loving Me: The Hidden Agenda of Self-Esteem, 1.0
- To Lower Your Self-Esteem is Good, 2.0
- Self-Esteem & the Tale of Ugly Betty, 3.0
- The End of the Road for High Self-Esteem is Suicide, 4.0
- Case Study: Sally’s Search for Self-Esteem, 5.0
- Did J. B. & Paul Struggle with Self-Worth, 6.0
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T. E. said, Well I think it’s a mix, because we should feel good about ourselves and realize we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” or whatever, but our confidence should come from God and not people. And it is true that the more we focus on God, the more he brings out our true amazing selves because that is how he designed us to work.
Interesting article! :
G. O. said, Isn’t that the truth?
J. S. said, Just as Philippians teaches us to esteem others more than ourselves.
J. S. said, Low self-esteem has the same merit as someone who says, “I hate myself.” The Bible is clear that we all love ourselves. That’s why we are to love our neighbor and our spouse as we love ourself. Imagine if we loved them that much!
C. B. said, Self-esteem. What an oxymoron. From where does our esteem come?