The words rolled off your lips, the email was launched, the unkind act was committed and regret is rumbling over your soul. There is no way to undo what you have done.
Action completed!
Regret, simply put, is lingering sadness about a moment, season or series of events from the past. It is different from temporal sadness. Temporary sad seasons are normal human emotional responses to undesirable circumstances, but lingering sadness should not be the norm for a Christian.
Sin happens two ways: we sin and we’re sinned against
I SIN – There are many moments in my past that I regret. However to hang onto these unwise moments can only lead to more sin, e.g. anger, bitterness, fear, despair, blaming, justification, gossip. A person who can’t let go of their sin, after they have biblically repented of their sin, is a self-righteous person.
The self-righteous are people who reject grace and seek to live by their own righteous standards, thus when they sin, they live in un-resolvable regret because they have not met their standard of righteousness. However, if they repent of their sin and accept God’s grace, there would be no regret. Their sin would be removed as far as the east is from the west.
I’M SINNED AGAINST – There are also moments in my past where others have acted in unkind ways towards me. Fortunately God has given me a way to be released from their sin as well. However, if I hold them to my expectation of righteousness then I will set myself up for regret because imperfect people can never consistently meet my expectations.
To expect and hold others to a level of perfection is anti-Gospel. Jesus did not die for the perfect. He died for the failures. There must be grace.
The first regret & God’s Triumph
I think once a person starts trekking backwards through life’s most regrettable moments, they will eventually get to Adam. IF Adam had left that fruit alone, Christ would not have had to suffer and we would not need a Cross or a Gospel. While I am sad for Adam’s blunder and do not justify or “play down” his actions and most certainly have been impacted by his sin, I’m amazed at how God has graciously trumped Adam’s sin and used that regrettable moment for his glory.
At some point in our thoughts on our most regrettable moments, whether we initiated them or they were perpetrated against us, we have to see them through the lens of God’s sovereignty and providential care in our lives.
God uses sin sinlessly
Many times there is a difference between how God responds to sin and how we respond. God uses sin redemptively. The Cross is the most profound example of this.
Sin is a context that God uses to provide grace and bring change in our lives. He does not expect or hold us to a level of righteousness that we most certainly could not attain. And he does not let our sin go. Sin is always punished. His Son received this punishment. Therefore, no believer makes light of sin.
The great Hebrew leader, Joseph, gave us his God-centered perspective on humanity’s sinfulness:
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. – Genesis 50:20 ESV
The Redemptive Purposes of Sin
May the day soon come when we can let go of the past and not be bound or controlled by it. We may be sad for our sinful choices, but God can give us a bigger view of Himself, even when we sin. He comes alongside us and those who have been hurt by our sin and redeems these situations for his glory.
If you know someone overly fixated on past sin, let me encourage you to come alongside them and minister grace to them. Give them God’s perspective on sin, not reminders of our fallenness.
Are you more focused on the sin or the cross?
It would not minister grace to them to look backward and regret God’s activity, God’s guiding, God’s providence in their lives. Yes, even to reflect on the sinful allowances that He has allowed. If we agree that God uses sin sinlessly, then we need to move past the sin, once repentance is properly walked out, and work redemptively rather than regrettably.
To respond otherwise is to make an accusation against our sovereign God. Sin is part of his plans for us. This is not to make much of sin, but to make more of grace. The Gospel is the most profound illustration of the tension between God and sin.
To never forgive is an accusation against God
It probably would not minister grace to Eve by telling her that if God had been on the ball he would not have let that snake in the garden. There is an implied accusation against God when we can’t let go of sin: God should have been on the ball and not let that happen to me.
That seems wrong-headed to me.
When all is said and done, God will eventually wipe away all our tears and there will be no more accusations against God or man. May we live in that grace today rather than living in the continual, lingering moments of regret.
Regret mocks the Gospel.
Checkout some of our training videos on our YouTube Channel
This was very uplifting to me.