What is the orientation of your marriage? Who do you orient your life around in your marriage and family?
Here are the expected biblical orientations of the home
- The husband orients his life around God
- The wife orients her life around the husband
- The children orient their lives around the parents
For the wife this “co-co dependency” implies a double dependency to her husband as well as her God. Not only is she an image bearer of God, but she reflects and responds to her husbands leadership as well.
There are many variations to this biblical motif and none of them work successfully. At some point there will be a breakdown if the orientation moves in other directions than what is described above.
Here are a few examples
- Parents who orient their home to primarily serve the children
- Husbands who orient around the wife or children rather than God
- Wives who orient around the children instead of their husbands
A proper biblical orientation is a husband in hot pursuit of God, a wife who is humbly following him in his pursuit and children who are brought along in the wake of the husband’s leadership. This is familial success.
What if my husband is not following hard after God? That typically is the first question I hear and it is a relevant one because many of our Christian husbands are not biblically leading their wives and families.
This can be a frustrating position to be in. And it can be doubly compounded if the wife is struggling with similar sinful temptations as Eve in the Garden. In such cases it is nearly impossible to get the home in order.
One of the more difficult counseling situations is a wife rebelling against her husband’s leadership and a husband who lacks in practical, biblical leadership.
The next most difficult issue is a wife willing to submit but the husband is unwilling to biblically lead by humbly serving and caring for his wife.
Personally, my self-righteous soul does not want to follow a jerk and to counsel someone regarding how to live within the contours of that kind of leadership is most difficult. However, I have seen many wives, who are far more godly than me, who have clueless husbands as far as the art of “husbandry” but their humility, courage and resolve to honor God in their marriage is inspiring.
For more articles on marriage please consider these posts
- Marriage: How to Treat Your Wife
- Universal Application for Marriages
- Weak Men! Strong Women!
- How To Warm Your Butterfly
- How Does Your Garden Grow?
- Co-Co Dependent: A Biblical Role for the Wife
The tower photo courtesy of Expressions by Bev
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hello, This is a new thing for me so i hope that replying to this our asking for help is ok. Iam in a situation were , it says up top here quote ( husband’s leadership and lack practical biblacl leadership. I dont know my role as a husband in leading our the roles of the wife. we are so wiiling and try to find ways but its like we are in a battle. any in pt would be welcomed.
The expected Biblical orientation is that a woman orient her life around her God not her husband. This does not negate submission to his leadership but he is not her God and to put anyone before God is nothing less than idolatry. Every woman has her own relationship with the Lord apart from her husband so she is not dependent upon him. He is not her priest as she can come boldly before the throne on her own as can all believers. Certainly the Lord has called a man to lead but this does not mean that he intercedes for his wife, the only intercessor we all have is Jesus Christ. To respond to his leadership is not a call to orient one’s life around him as he is only a servant of the same God she follows.