Unfortunately biblical shame is very real. It was one of the first accompaniments that Adam felt after he sinned against the Father. He grabbed some fig leaves and began the cover-up process. There are always two things that happen when we sin:
- We sin, whatever that may be and it is real with consequences. Sin is not a non-real figment of our imagination.
- One of the consequences of sin is a legitimate sense of shame because of the realities of our sin
Unfortunately this sense of shame tempts us to do what Adam did. Adam put on fig leaves to help cover his sense of shame. He also ran from the Truth and later on he began to justify his situation by blaming another. And we live in the shadows as well. We are in a world hiding behind the leaves to cover our shame.
And even more unfortunate our sense of shame skews our theological awareness. For example, we can isolate and not tell anyone about our sin because we have convinced ourselves that everyone else is doing better than us. This is sloppy theology. For all have sinned and even if they are believers they still sin. All people are tempted to struggle with biblical shame. And you can rest assured that your sinner-friends also do not like transparency.
If you are hurting inside, it seems counter-intuitive to tell someone about it because of the fear they will further hurt you by their stares, words or unkindness. And they may sin against you!
But if we choose to shutdown and not share where we really are then we are cutting ourselves off from a major means of grace that God provides to help us through our situational difficulty.
And, rather than choosing God’s main context for change, which is the local church, we choose to rent a friend to share our struggles. That is what I am, a professional counselor, also known as “Rent-a-Friend.”
I wish it wasn’t this way. It certainly is not God’s plan in the NT.
We must rip the fig leaves off and get real if we want sufficient and sustained help.
Hi Rick. Thanks for this post. That is something I struggle with deeply. I never talk about things and when I do I feel that no one understands, that or I feel rejected. I’m starting to see the consequences of shutting people out in hard times. I’m hurting so bad because I shut God out and I just can’t open by up. I can’t be exposed. I used to be out going and now I am so quiet and everyone sees something is wrong but they can’t get past the walls I’ve built. I like to believe that they don’t care or don’t know me well enough because I have a hard past and the thoughts of it can get overwhelming sometimes.