How can you tell if a man is fulfilling his role as a true leader? What is the number one criteria? How can you know if he is a good leader? What do you look at?
- His bank account?
- His portfolio?
- His resume?
- His profession?
- His sub-division?
- His friends or business associates?
- His recreational activities?
- His travel schedule?
- His material possessions?
Let me suggest another place to look. When I look at a man to see how well he is leading the first place I look is the man’s wife.
- The wife is the closest person to him
- She is the one he is intimate with (Nothing is closer than that.)
- She is the one who has been affected the most by him
- She is his primary commitment, via the marriage covenant
- She is the litmus test for his leadership
- She has been the main recipient of his leadership development
- She reflects his style, skill, expertise and care
If I meet with a man and want to find out how he leads or how well he has been leading the first place I look is always the same. I look at his wife. My questions are along the lines of, “How is she doing? How has he affected her?”
Is she happy, content, at peace, joyful, fulfilled, warm and satisfied? Has she been nourished and her growth is clearly visible? Is she secure, balanced, logical and fun?
In Ephesians 5 these are some of the implied characteristics of the church. The church is the wife of Christ. The church reflects his leadership, how he leads. And this is how we are asked to lead our wives. If we get this right then leading in other areas of life can fall in line.
For me, this is the manly man test.
This is so true.Women also need to remember that a man who is highly attractive or someone who is very rich will not necessarily be a good partner.They need to love the character of the person and only then the relationship can and will be a success.
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Great article Rick, especially the Bible Verses… so many books out there and many of us are not reading the main one… thanks for the gospel-centered reminder!!!
Yes, great article. I am so late in seeing this. But it is so vital. One important question is missing so many times in selecting leaders….. that is to ask the wife, “Is this man a good/godly leader in your home?”. This is often overlooked, and we end up with men who look good on the outside, but their home is a mess.
Thanks, Rick.
Thanks man. It is good to be reminded of what we should be about. It is very easy to get off track when other things become important.
It can be easy to start focusing on some of these other issues (ie- finances) with the reason of being focused toward your wife, and yet slide her out of the picture