I have been benefiting from Dave Harvey’s marriage book these days. Here is a helpful quote…
When you’re in a conflict with your spouse, or evaluating a past conflict, have you ever said (aloud or to yourself), “God knows my heart in this situation”? Was that a comforting or reassuring thought? Did you imagine that a divine examination of your deepest motives and desires would uncover nothing but the purest and most Christ-like intentions? If so, you were on a dangerous stretch of road with no guardrail at all, and probably well on your way to hurtling down into the bottomless canyon of self-deception. We’re talking crash and burn. But to live suspicious of your heart’s motivations, that’s safe spiritual driving.
Many marriage problems could move toward resolution if husband and wife actually lived as if they were “sinners” who said, “I do.” Sinners who are humble are growing more knowledgeable about their hearts.
Dave Harvey, When Sinners Say I Do, p. 64
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Dave Harvey’s book is a very strong resource. It really helps my perspective when I remember that I am the biggest sinner in my marriage and place my own motives/heart under suspicion. The book is so on target that our Shepherding Group is reading through it together (we just weren’t gettin’ no “Love and Respect”). -D